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Introduction to a short story I never finished. Old, but I liked it enough to polish up a bit and put up here for a change. I'm a better writer than I am an artist.

Maybe I'll finish it someday.

When I wrote this, I wanted a completely androgynous, ambiguous main character. What do you think?

I know prose doesn't go over very well here on dA, but I thought I would post this nonetheless. It's short, so maybe it will!

Heavily inspired by J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye.

EDIT: HOLY SHIT, A DD? Thank you so much ^neurotype! I'm speechless. :heart: I'm even more flattered knowing that I recently re-wrote and completed this short story a couple weeks ago for a creative writing class, but had to remove it from dA because I am seeking publication for it. This is so encouraging and wonderful. Thanks again, everyone!
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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-11-03
:iconskywarddestiny:
SkywardDestiny Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012
Amazing, I loved every bit of it!
I really hope to read more!
Reply
:iconspectrosity:
spectrosity Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I am seeking publication for the completed version of this story. So perhaps some day you'll be able to read more. Unless, of course, you note me with your email address and I can send you a copy of the finished, revised story. ;)
Reply
:iconskywarddestiny:
SkywardDestiny Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012
I really do think you'll go far! You've got a gift!. . . Okay that sounds pretty cheesy, but I mean it!
Oh and that sounds great! I hope it's not a bother.
Reply
:iconspectrosity:
spectrosity Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very kindly :) :heart:

You're not a bother. XD
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the well deserved DD! :heart:
Reply
:iconspectrosity:
spectrosity Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure :happybounce:
Reply
:iconsmeltlikesafety:
smeltlikesafety Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I love the way your details - picking at her fingernails, and the way she treated the cat - they all let the readers see how the character really is like, without even having to explain it outright. Thank you for the really great read. :)
Reply
:iconspectrosity:
spectrosity Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad you picked up on those things! Thank you for your thoughts. :)
Reply
:iconsinnibelle:
Sinnibelle Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That was very interesting. Congrats on the daily.
Reply
:iconspectrosity:
spectrosity Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so very kindly! :heart:
Reply
:iconsinnibelle:
Sinnibelle Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You are very welcome. I hope that you do get it published :)

I've written plenty of story doodles but never anything I thought would be worth publishing. I have a hard time getting around cliches and basing characters off of people I know hehe.

SOMEDAY!
Reply
:iconspectrosity:
spectrosity Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Cliches are cliches because they're been used so much and were successful. :) There's technically no problem with cliches--it's just finding a way to make the cliche unique; no one wants to read a story that's already been told before, idea for idea. And I'd attest that basing characters off people you know is a good way to make sure your characters are realistic. I have thrown real people into stories before, but ended up only keeping certain characteristics of them; characters tend to come alive and be their own person after a while. :)
Reply
:iconsinnibelle:
Sinnibelle Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for everything :) It was very helpful.

I hope someday I can make characters who are my own people and not just people I know. I have read a few stories before and I felt like I knew them and it amazes me and I hope one day I can do that and I see you are going to :) Good luck with your book.
Reply
:icons-amnesia:
S-Amnesia Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012
This was an amazing intro, I really want to read more! So I would love to read this when it gets published!
And I was reading the intro thinking that the main character was female. Guess it was the plum polish ;)
Reply
:iconspectrosity:
spectrosity Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Haha, it trips up a lot of people, that polish.

It may take a year or so before any kind of publication, unfortunately. If you don't want to wait, you could note me your email and I will send it to you. :) Up to you.
Reply
:iconangeleji:
AngelEji Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012
I was aazed how you brought up that ambiguous character. If there is a continuation, I would love to read it!
Reply
:iconspectrosity:
spectrosity Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Feel free to send me a note if you're interested in the final piece and I can email it to you. :) I just don't want it circulating because I intend to publish it.
Reply
:iconangeleji:
AngelEji Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
That would be great!!!
Thanks!!!
Can you send it to me then?
Reply
:iconbanshee300:
banshee300 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012
please go on with the story, I want to know what happens, Who's Trevor and how did he and the mother die? who is the I even? is it a man or a woman? and what's with the bad father/child relation
Reply
:iconspectrosity:
spectrosity Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I have completed the story (though I've admittedly changed quite a few things) and it's currently out with publishers. Hopefully someone will pick it up and it will be available for purchase at some point. If you absolutely cannot wait and would like to read the story ASAP, please sent me a note and I'll see what I can do. :)
Reply
:iconbanshee300:
banshee300 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012
thanks, but ist's not so much the problem of wanting it now, it's getting it even when it's published,when it's out in the US it may take I don't know how long until it's released in europe, if it ever will. And I don't want to inconvein you with one persons request so I'll have to make the answers to those questions up myself.
Reply
:iconspectrosity:
spectrosity Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's no inconvenience, but if you would rather answer your own questions, that's up to you. :)
Reply
:iconbanshee300:
banshee300 Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012
if it's really no problem, I'd like to read it, but I have no money either to pay you.
Reply
:iconspectrosity:
spectrosity Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ha! You don't have to pay me. I'm not looking for money.
Reply
:icondeathwhisperer:
DeathWhisperer Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012
I love your short story! I would love it if you finished it, mind you, it's great even unfinished though :p. I didn't make the link with Salinger, but now that you mention I definitely see it (the "fuck you" in the booth, the nonchalance...). "Catcher in the Rye" is my favourite book...enough rambling though. Congrats for the DD! :)
Reply
:iconspectrosity:
spectrosity Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
The Catcher in the Rye is one of my absolute favorite books as well. It shapes how I see the world and how I write. :)

If you're interested, you can not me and I'll send you the finished revision.

Thank you for your kind words!
Reply
:iconcoolshadowblader:
CoolShadowBlader Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012
What a nice little story! I am usually against character with attitude but this was very well written and executed! And I'd love to read more!
Reply
:iconspectrosity:
spectrosity Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! Characters with attitude tend to be my forte, hehe. :) I can't help it; they're all just so feisty and interesting.
Reply
:iconcoolshadowblader:
CoolShadowBlader Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012
I agree on that!
Reply
:iconwolfetta:
Wolfetta Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012
this felt like an excerpt from an author like kathy reichs. i love the emotion put into it and felt like (still feel) that there should be more
Reply
:iconspectrosity:
spectrosity Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh wow, thank you for the comparison! Rest assured that there is more--I revised and completed this story a few weeks ago and have since sent it out to a potential publisher. :) If you would be interested in reading the rest, shoot me a note and I'll send it to you.
Reply
:iconwolfetta:
Wolfetta Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012
id love to <3 <3
Reply
:iconlucrativefame:
LucrativeFame Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012
I'm so inspired by this! It seems my writer's block has vanished; how nice.

Congratulations on the DD. You really deserved it!

:heart:
Reply
:iconspectrosity:
spectrosity Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! I'm glad it could serve as a means of inspiration for you. :heart: :)
Reply
:iconcosmicfiend:
CosmicFiend Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
"Prose doesn't go over well on DA"

Suddenly, Daily Deviation.

Sweet irony, no?
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:shifty:
Reply
:iconspectrosity:
spectrosity Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Indeed. :)
Reply
:icondakedoom:
dakedoom Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Autistic dad?

And yeah the Salinger influence is pretty clear here. American tragicomedy at its best.
Reply
:iconneojobor:
NeoJobor Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Student Interface Designer
that is really cool!!!!awesome
Reply
:iconspectrosity:
spectrosity Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconeuxiom:
Euxiom Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012
This was definitely a great piece. I think you succeeded in making the narrator ambiguous, but I like their attitude already. :la:
Reply
:iconspectrosity:
spectrosity Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! Gotta love characters with attitudes, am I right?
Reply
:iconeuxiom:
Euxiom Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012
Welcome! You are so right. :D
Reply
:iconkori-hibana:
kori-hibana Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Student General Artist
well, you really succeeded in creating an "androgynous, ambiguous main character"--it really worked and kept me guessing until... well, I'm still puzzling it out now :3 I love how the ambiguity allows the reader to create his/her own backstory and fill in the blanks, which makes it so personal. In spite of the nail polish, I still think it's a guy xp
Reply
:iconspectrosity:
spectrosity Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: I think you may be right. ;)
Reply
:iconanya-kee:
Anya-Kee Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Student General Artist
Awesome beginning! Captivating :)
Reply
:iconspectrosity:
spectrosity Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconanya-kee:
Anya-Kee Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Student General Artist
:)
Reply
:iconsquirtsi:
squirtsi Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012
What a great introduction! It invites reflection, which I think is a great thing for a story to have. Congratulations on the DD, and good luck with getting published!
Reply
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